[	mood	|	cheerful	]
[	music	|	Snow Patrol	]

My life is like a Fairy Tale. Filled with evil witches (my aunt Mary). The confused prince charming (me). Two awsome but somtimes dim witted sidekicks (Josh and Kevin). The guy thats always there for you (Milton). Your closest advisor (Carrie). The guy you care for and dont want anything bad to happen to (Brandon). Evil dragons (Ex-girlfriends). Magical Forests (Dartmouth Parks) with hunters in them. Black knights that want to ruin your life but you and the guy thats always there for you bitchsmacks them (David and Neal Costa). Evil castles where people stab you in the back(NBHS). Tough times (the break). Better times (being with her again, fuck the break). A valient steed (my car). A Magical Land (New Bedford). And there is the friend that listens and helps (Ian). And numerous people along the way. But the most important thing is that I have the Damsiel in Distress (Rosanne) who I love with all my heart and would cry my heart and soul out for if anything happened. I cant see me without you, you seriously make my day. I am so happy we are together and I wont let anything come between us, not evil dragons, not black knights, not evil witches. I love you

[	mood	|	ecstatic	]
[	music	|	The Temptations	]

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
:I died from suicide:
:I said I liked you:
:I kissed you:
:I lived next door to you:
:I started smoking:
:I stole something:
:I was hospitalized:
:I ran away from home:
:I got into a fight and you weren't there:


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
:Personality:
:Eyes:
:Face:
:Hair:  
:Clothes:  
:Mannerisms:
:Family:


WOULD YOU:
:Be my friend?:
:Have sex with me?
:Lie to make me feel better?:
:Spread rumors about me?:
:Keep a secret if I told you one?:
:Loan me some cash?:
:Hold my hand?:
:Take a bullet for me?:
:Keep in touch?:
:Try and solve my problems?:
:Love me?:
:Date me?:

[	mood	|	tired	]
[	music	|	Nirvana	]

Guys, I have to explain my last entry. Ive bee acting different latley and Iam going to explain myself. For the past year and a half my aunt Mary has been causing so much shit in my family latley. This year, and mostly my senior year of high school it has been unberable. She has been on my back constantly bitching and complaning and dosent let me breath. When I get out of my house I get so happy becuase I dont have to deal with her. Also last week I get word that my grandfather In Portugal had a stroke and was in the hospital recovering. Now that was a bullet to my heart. He was the greatest person in the world. We could talk about everything and anything for hours on end. I was looking foward to talking to him again this year when I go to Portugal in the summer but that won't be happening, becuase he passed away early Monday morning. Right now I am living with a heavy heart becuase I cannot go over there and be at his funeral. I cried for hours Monday morning and then last night when I was with Fr. Kevin. Like I said good things happen to those who wait? bullshit my grandfather wouldnt be dead. The only thing good that has happened to me in the last 3 months is my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend Rosanne Pinto. Rosanne listen to me, That last post wasnt about you and had nothing to do with you. I love you and dont know what to do if we werent together. You are the greatest. Last night when I was crying I looked at our picture from Sr. Banquet and that brought joy to my heart. Im so sorry if you are mad or think that I hate you becuase you know that is complete bullshit. But guys that last post was ridiculous I should have explained myself. The whole part of me not getting affection back is from my parents becuase right now they are as sad as me and arent helping me at all, right now im alone becuase I havent told anyone what happened. I should have becuase you guys are the greatest friends I could ask for and can help me right now. I just had so much anger, sadness, grief, and pain in my heart and body that I needed to tell Fr. Kevin because I had turned to him before when I was having trouble in the 7th grade with my family and other stuff. Yea I know that my family isnt perfect and that there are other families that are worse but I hate when stuff like this happens. Guys, right now at this time, Im living with a hole in my heart and my soul just wants to escape and be with my grandfather. I would do anything to see him again, but I cant, so I guess I have to wait until I die and to be with him up in heavan. So guys if anyone thought this was to you IM SORRY I should have explained myself.

[	mood	|	depressed	]
[	music	|	Lamb of God	]

Im sick of everything. Im done with always caring and being the person you can lean on. Its awsome how I can be there for everyone and do anything, but when I need something or I need someone to lean on, all I get is stop complaning or suck it up. Its fucking ridiculous. And its great that when you show someone so much affection and hardly or even not get any in return. Its bullshit. But you know what? Whatever, I dont give a shit anymore. Ive been feeling shitty lately, and I dont know why so dont ask. Ive been going to a good friend of mine to talk to him for the past two weeks. Fr. Kevin is the man. I swear to god if it weren't for him I would have done somethnig I would have regreted. He has calmed me down so much. He has put it into my mind that good things will come to those who wait, but I really dont know, ive waited way too long and im starting to run out of patience. Ive made my move its your turn. You guys have no idea what prayer can do for you. It can calm you down so much, just by asking God for patience and for serenity. Today I went to talk to him again because so much has been going through my mind. Again he solved my problems. It was great to get all this shit off my chest. Ive been letting the littlest thing get to me. But you know what next time I get pissed, Im either gonna let it slide or punch you in the fucking face. But hey, whatever. You know what? Im not changing my life, Im starting a revolution.

[	mood	|	pissed off	]
[	music	|	Atreyu	]

Hmm....so far this weekend has SUCKED, Friday hung out with Brady and Bisso, turned out terrible. I get to Bradys house and him and Bisso are planning to casue "shinnanigans". I was like fine Ill drive but you guys do what you want. So we drove to the South End to Ians house, but drove by Rosannes house first and shouldnt of done that. Brady and Bisso decimate Molly and Rosanne's car. It was funny at first but then that changed. Molly calls me to go over and clean her car. At first I didnt want to but me being the nice guy that I am go over and agree to go at 7:30 this morning and clean her car, that went fine. Then woke up Rosanne so I could clean her car, and for some reason she was madder than what Mollys mom was...I dont get it, why was she mad at me? I didnt do shit, I just drove and then I decide to clean the cars and people get mad at ME, fuck it. I dont want to be the nice guy anymore if its gonna be like this. So after that I was in a terrible mood the rest of today. Then went to go visit my baby cousin in Achusnet, I left early since I was pissed. Im coming home and a fuckin deer jumps in front of my car, You have no idea how shook up I was. I got home fell asleep. Woke up wrote this shit and now im in a worse mood then before. Like I said before im SICK of being the nice guy and doing shit for people and then for some reason people get mad at me. But whatever need help? you better be dying to get help from me cause like I said im sick of everytthing already. This school year so far has sucked and this weekend was the WORST ever. I have my mom mad at me, my girlfriend mad at me, my aunt mad at me, a friend mad at me. So whatever I do Im screwed since eveyone and their mothers are mad at me. Hmmm whatever, Im seriously thinking of packin my bags and leaving this fucking city, this fucking state, and starting a new life somewhere else. No one is going to miss me, I dont want comments sayin yea we will cause its bullshit. Im leaving and I cant wait everything is bullshit, no matter what I do it gets worse. I seriously could care less if I was dead casue maybe everyone wouldnt be mad at me, but at least I wouldnt have to deal with everyone being pissed at me. FUCK IT.

[	mood	|	pissed off	]
[	music	|	As I Lay Dying	]

Well everyone, my last post about the friend that stabs you in the back, well I proved it today. The person I thought to be my best friend to me right now is nothing at all. He can talk shit behind my back, and then after smackin him in the face he can call me a bitch? What kind of friend tries to bring you down in front of your other friends? Tell me that? Exactly a pretty shitty friend. Right now if this friend died I dont think I would care. And the one person In the world who can cheer me up, well I dont even think I can trust that person right now.

Fuck you "Best" Friend. (thanks for that line)